For the Kiddies

It has been brought to my attention several times over the past months that there is a serious need for guidance on the subject of kiddie-sized urinals. You know the ones I'm talking about, the ones that look like they were accidentally installed for an elementary school, the ones that look like they might be useful if for some reason you were to pee out of your knee. This demand resulted in several months of research and experimentation, in which my colleagues and I were able to come up with a series of questions which are useful in handling the kiddie-sized urinal situation appropriately.

1. Does the part of your male anatomy most crucial
for peeing actually locate itself completely above the kiddie-sized
urinal?
If yes, please refrain from using the urinal.  If no, proceed to question 2.

2. Do you have to bend down to flush the urinal?
If yes, please refrain from using the urinal.
If no, proceed to question 3.

3. Are you unable to see the urinal due to the protrusion of your stomach?
If yes, please refrain from using the urinal.
If no, proceed to question 4.

4. Would it be more comfortable for you to use the urinal standing on your knees?
If yes, please refrain from using the urinal.
If no, you check out OK. Go ahead and use that urinal.